The Misconception About Gaining Self Confidence

by Ethan Beh

In my daily life I can see many people seeking to gain self confidence. Unfortunately by observing them, I feel that most will not achieve what they want. It doesn’t matter how much effort they put in, what books they read, what strategy they use, or which expert they learned it from.

They will not succeed as long as they do not clear up the misconception they have about gaining self confidence. Most people who are searching ways for gaining self confidence are really doing it with the expectation that by doing all this, one day they will ‘get’ that confidence.

They feel that if they read books on confidence, learn techniques, practice etc, and do it long enough and well enough, they will have that unstoppable self confidence. Only then will they have the courage and ability to take action. They think confidence is like getting promoted. Once you’re promoted, you have more authority. To them, once they have confidence, they have more ability.

Sooner or later most of these people will find that no matter how much they try, they cannot seem to achieve it. Well it’s no wonder because that supreme confidence does not exist!

We tend to think that people who look, act and talk confidently are just born that way. That it’s just part of their nature. People like to think that if only they had the confidence of a Tony Robbins, Nelson Mandela or Donald Trump, then they would be just as successful of these successful individuals.

The reality is that even the most talented and successful people have doubts and insecurities of their own. No matter what they have achieved or how gifted they are, nobody is totally 100% confident. So the question is if that type of 100% supreme confidence does not exist, then how did the successful people become successful? And how come they seem so confident?

Now although successful individuals do not have the type of supreme confidence that we thought they have, they do have something else that sets them apart from others.

The thing that makes the difference and sets them apart is the knowledge that there is no such thing as having a supremely confident state. They know that there will always be doubts, uncertainties etc. So unlike many others, they don’t wait till they are confident enough. They don’t wait till they are sure of success. This is because they know that day never comes.

Rather they take action even when there’s doubt. They prepare as much as they can, then take action. They don’t try to be 100% sure before making a decision or taking a course of action. If you want to be totally confident before you even attempt something, you can bet that you won’t be attempting many things.

Knowing this is very important as it helps break the barrier to gaining self confidence. When we realize that even successful people have uncertainties and fears, we know that we are just like them. That proves that whatever they achieved can be achieved by us as well.

Nobody can be free of uncertainties. We can never be 100% confident in any situation. Instead we need to take action despite the uncertainties. It is through experience that true confidence is developed.

About the Author:

Wish to learn more about self improvement? Ethan Beh has spent many years seeking and practicing self improvement techniques and knowledge. A business consultant and self improvement enthusiast, visit his website for more insight on gaining self confidence and other tips.